I dont know if raunchiness sells as well as sex/drugs/violence. I know this because Emeril, the endearing pimp/smack-pusher/gun-runner, has tons of bling. Last weekend, when I was purchasing some Rocket-Propelled Grenades he requisitioned from some Angolian mercenaries, I casually asked him "Hey, I got an idea for a raunchy cartoon", his answer was kurt and to the point "That idea's stupid. You're stupid. Are you going to buy these?".
"That idea's stupid." from a fiscal genius. I wasn't going to doubt him. When I told him about how I got an extended warrenty for my iPod shuffle, he punched me in the face. I blacked out. When I came to, the iPod, along with the warrenty reciet, was missing. Oh, that wacky Emeril.
Adult swim and Comedy Central sprung for some cheap shows over the last couple years. They both operated under the principle: "How can we prefabricate a line of abysmal shows that will all be gunning for a position among cult-fanboys?" I suppose the success of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 gave them the idea that they could emulate the South African diamond trade. That, or it's analogous to the soviet infantry charges of the Great Patriotic War (WW2). I'm going with the latter.
I decided to compile a list of the worst cartoons. Not just because they're cheaply made like _______, but because they're gross. Apparently they grossly misinterpretted funny for raunchy, and well. it sucks. The reason I made a list is because they are the most cost-effective entries to make, adhering to the theory that time is money.
5. South Park
This is probably the only one on the list that i'd get shit for, hence why its Five. That is, if people read my blog. For the first few seasons, they were testing the water and had to impress thier audience with a semblance of plot. Since their art-department (ie: Trey Parker) invested thier vast wealth into a machine that processes newspaper clippings, dragon-ball Z plotlines, and internet forum posts, then parses the results in some algorithm from Steven Hawkings bowels, the shows never been the same.
4. Squid Billies
3. Squid Billies
not a mistake
2. Twelve-Inch Mouse
The business model for this trainwreck was molded around FUBU. It was for stoners BY stoners! Ha ha, hold on my sides are splitting! Now, it might have had potential, but when they hired the production team, the only credential was "smokes sh^tloads of weed". Sadly, after the initial airing, thier stoner demographic switched to heroin.
1. Drawn Together
This wins the award for having artists that completed thier first-year portfolio. However, that doesnt excuse it from having a piecemail art dept. Infact, lets forget the repugnant motif, a reality TV show, and focus on the animation. Each character (9 in total) has thier own art/anim style; From a 1930s Betty Boop parody to a Dragon Ball Z Anime parody. It just looks like a bad collage from a bad fourth-grade art student that I was staring at when I dropped some bad acid (with an ensuing bad trip). Crap.
The premise of the show ain't that good either. The writers wrote the *Anime guy as gay. They subscribe to the 'anime is gay' (AG) school of thought. Now, I'm not an 'aNiM3 is l337, goku will blast you with a power-level 17 fireball' (AEGWBYWPL) advocate. I have firsthand experience in this bloodfued as my four children have all fell victim to the bloodshed. I assembled thier private funerals, as I'm an ordained minister. I'm sure you never heard about all this, but as far as my taxes are concerned, its all true.
Gut Nacht!
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